"Have a Holly, Jolly, Meltdown...."

I know I must have enjoyed, no make that "thrilled", over Christmas for many years of my life, but now, it just makes me want to grow an even bigger nose, turn even greener and try to steal it. Here's the thing. It's for kids. And the merchants of course. First, the Christmas cards start coming and the guilt begins. I haven't sent out cards for many, many years and feel tremendously guilty over all the nice people who thought enough of me to send me a card. Then there are the freaking Macy's coupons. I could paper my bathroom with their one-day sales notices. Why, why, why? And the pre-empting of programs to make room for "fabulous extravaGHONzas" with lots of singing by Celine Dion and her ilk as a mammoth tree's light go blazing. They're sure to trot out Andreas Boccelli and that insipid Kenny G. to give us that cozy yuletide feeling (with Macy's in the background, of course). I liked it better when you could put the yule log channel on and watch it like a fish tank.

And the shameless solicitation of Holiday Handouts from people who get paid for providing a service. Where did this begin? Why do I have to give my garbage guys a hearty handout when they throw my cans all over the street? Because they will do even worse things to them if I don't. Yes, and the guilt. I know. But wait, they, and the mailman and paper guy ARE my extended family. I see them almost every day and we're all grumpy. That's a family, right?

I think I'm just having a tough time without my particular family's rituals because they will never be the same without my sister. My friend, M, said that I have to find a new normal, so it may not be this crochety one, but for now, bah humbug. See you at Macy's.